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Saturday, December 27, 2008

CHAPTER I – WAITING AND WONDERING

CONFESSIONS OF A QUESTIONING PHILOSOPHER
CHAPTER I – WAITING AND WONDERING


Several years ago I published a philosophy book: God, Man, and the Universe – An Holistic Perspective. This was an Ebooks published in the Order Online Bookstore of my Website: www.drtauraso.com. Although the book took 20 years to write before final publication, no one, as yet, has ever ordered a copy. Perhaps someday someone will take the book out from Ebooks heaven and read it.

In this book I tried to discuss the Laws of the Greater Universe as they relate to our relationship with God, Man, and the Lesser Universe. The Lesser Universe I define as that physical entity composed of the billions of suns, planets, and celestial bodies; the Greater Universe being that entity composed of the Lesser Physical Universe, God, Man, and everything else which interact with each other.

Tonight as I lay on my office couch trying to go to sleep, I began to contemplate – as I do almost every night – the meaning of life and whether there is real interaction among all the entities mentioned above. Tonight, as in many other nights, I am asking for a revelation – not an hallucination – perhaps in the form of a beam of light. Then, I would know that it would be a miracle for in the middle of the night one – at least one of sound mind – would not expect a real beam of light!

So here I am waiting and wondering – the title of the Chapter – whether the beam of light will appear, and, if it does, wondering whether it would be real or an hallucination. Many individuals throughout the world and the ages have described visions. And being the scientist that I profess to be, I ask the question: “Is this a real external vision or is it something conjured from within the recesses of one’s subconscious mind, which I would define as somewhat of an hallucination. I have always thought that, as we experience events, these are stored as mental pictures and images somewhere within our subconscious mind/brain complex as bite or bytes of information in perhaps some digital form. And so we have this cauldron of byte soup. Once in awhile, something happens and these bytes take form as an independent picture which surfaces to our conscious mind. As we experience this new picture or thought, we need to wonder from where it came. If we think it came from without we may interpret it as an external vision. If we think it came from within we may consider it a dream. The two entities are quite different.

So if a revelation comes one evening, I would like to know whether it is a dream or vision because the dream is of my own creation, the vision being something from outside of me. And so I wait and wonder.

Tonight I was wondering about God. And since I have been given an intellect, it is within my nature to wonder about these things. Is God the ALL omnipotent and omniscient being which the religious preachers want us to believe. Was HE – and let us not quibble about the HE or the SHE – there BEFORE the Lesser Universe was created? Then one day, HE said “Let there be light,” and with that BIG BANG the Universe began the marvelous process of creation which continues to this day. Is this God a personal one. Does he know who we are; does he know who I am? And does HE care? Or has some other Avatar been assigned to oversee Planet earth to make sure the Laws of the Universe are followed. Perhaps by some standards he may not be doing a very good job. But then again he might.

Are happiness and unhappiness necessarily incongruous entities? Before answering we must define happiness. To me happiness is a state of well being where our dreams become our reality – that we are experiencing all our dreams in the here and now. Might St. Paul have been happy as his fellow Romans were chopping off his head because he knew that he had fulfilled Christ’s order to spread the faith? As St. Peter was dying being crucified upside down, was he also happy knowing that he had also fulfilled similar orders given to him? Was Jesus Christ happy dying on the cross knowing that his death was redeeming the sin of man? Pardon me if I am taking examples from the Bible but it is with holy individuals experiencing both entities simultaneously can we begin to delve into the question of happiness fulfilled.

Are my questions necessarily blasphemous? I do not think so. If we have been given an intellect, then, as I said, it is within our nature to question. If fact, we have a right, if not a duty, to question, respectfully. Otherwise, the gift of the intellect is thwarted. According to the Scholastic Philosophy of the Jesuits, to have been given a Natural Gift or Appetite, if we waste it, that would be a real shame. But to set the Appetite in motion and simultaneously putting something in place to prevent the Appetite from achieving its Natural End would be the definition of Sin.

Unfortunately, when we are happy we question little or nothing. It is when we are down and somewhat depressed that we ask the important questions. Less of the material is there to divert us from thinking about the meaning of life. On a personal note, since I have become financially destitute due to a very failed sale of a restaurant which was to give me financial security for many years, I have been questioning more. With each evening and often during the day I wait for that glimmer of hope and light and I wonder if it will ever come.

With each day I try to work hard, at least, hoping to cause some change and for things to happen. If it is true that “faith without works is dead,” then we must work towards a goal in order to reach the goal.

Some of the thoughts roaming through my mind this evening are those of mother Teresa. In her memoirs – memoirs she asked not to have been published – but who listened to the wishes of the dead anymore? – Mother Teresa complained that she worked so hard doing what she thought to be the work of God caring for the poor and unfortunate in Calcutta, but God never seemed to acknowledge this fact to her and that God was so distant from her that she wondered whether she was doing the right things in caring for the poor. Now we, and I, consider Mother Teresa an holy individual. If God has not appeared to the likes of her, why should I expect that he talk to me, more a sinner than a saint?

So I return to my couch continuing to wait and wonder. If the light does not appear tonight, I shall wait again tomorrow.

“To be continued tomorrow”

nicola michael ©. Tauraso, M.D.)
Director, Tauraso Medical Clinic
7051 Poole Jones Road
Frederick, MD 21702
301-682-8717
Web site: www.drtauraso.com
Blog site: http://www.drtauraso.com/blog/index.htm
Email: drtauraso@drtauraso.com

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