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Monday, September 17, 2007

DUMB, DUMBER, AND DUMBEST

DUMB, DUMBER, AND DUMBEST:

I do not know whether to entitle this article as I did with “Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest” or call it “Stupid, Stupider, and Stupidest” even though I know it is “more and most stupid.” But, here I am in a parking lot waiting for someone for several hours and I have no where else to wait. I am in a very remote area and thank God for the computer hookup to my car lighter.

What am I doing here today contemplating the dumb things of life. I just stopped by a Panadoria (place where bread is made) which I have gone by numerous times while in this very remote area. I was hungry and this time I wanted a piece of bread upon which to munch. At the door before I walked into the place, a young boy asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted to buy some bread. An older man next to the boy said they had no bread. I said but this is a Panadoria is it not? They responded yes it was but they do not have bread. I said in Spanish: “Oh a panadoria with no bread, I understand.” In Panama, one begins to understand these things.

Ten minutes before I stopped in a gas station to buy gas. I asked if they took credit cards and was told yes, go to the window. I got out of my car, went to the window as instructed where I was told by a woman behind a blackened window so black I had to stoop to peer through the bottom hole where one put one’s money that they did not take credit cards. I returned to the pump giving the man hell calling him stupid which I should not have done.. I should have instead said to myself: “Do not forget, Nick, you ARE in Panama now,” and take things in stride. Relax, chill out, it will be over soon! Instead of filling up, I put $20.00 worth of gas in the tank because I did not have that much cash on me at the time.

¨Then I returned to where I was supposed to wait on a section of the so-called “Inter-American Highway” going through Arrejan, the first small village just outside of Panama City. It was yesterday that a Panamanian told me that the Panamanian Government wanted to complete the highway through Darien, the section of Panama adjacent to Columbia, but the government stopped working on it because the US did not want it completed. I asked why should the US care? I was told that the US did not want the other countries in the Americas to unite. What kind of stupidity is this. Since when does any Latin American country in the Americas listen to the US anyway? The Inter-American highway is a highway which is supposed to go from the lowest tip of South America to Alaska. Much of it is already built.

I read in NewsMax.com just last week that there were people in the US who believed the US was actively promoting the completion of the Inter-American Highway because they wished soon to create an single Inter-American government similar to the European Union. Can you imagine how bizarre this thinking is? Can you just see the US giving up all those tax dollars to another sovereignty? I surely cannot imagine such a thing would ever happen. A Country with everything is not going to give it all away to a Banana Republic. But there is a significant number of people who believe that there are plans to create this bizarre government in this hemisphere. Where do people get these strange ideas? Has some foreign government already put LSD in the water supply over the entire US?

Several years ago, a supposedly intelligent business man, who was screwing around with my live in girlfriend at the time, gave me a book: “The Crack in the Cosmic Egg.” This man truly believed that the entire world was controlled by three men: David Rockefeller, Henry Kissinger, and some other third person whose name I have since forgotten, but I think it might have been The Shaw of Iran. Can anyone imaging such dribble. I never read the book because I finally concluded that my girlfriend who went to live with the man had to deal with him for he WAS the crack in the cosmic egg! I did not see him but once after that. He still appeared normal, at least, on the outside. I bet he now believes in global warming. Do you think Henry Kissinger has anything to do with this global warming crap? The Shaw of Iran is not, but how can we really be sure?

Do you know that there are people out there who believe there were more than one person involved in the assassination of President Kennedy and that President Bush masterminded the 911 collapse of the World Trade Center twin towers. My God, some of these people are professors in prominent universities teaching our young minds how to think! Hey, how about the people who think Elvis is still alive? How can he be. He was dead when he was alive. Is this not fun – laughing at people who are so stupid. Just grab a beer, folks, and watch the jackass parade with real human beings as characters..

So I really do not need to call some Panamanians dumb. Why we have individuals in the US with college degrees who are more dumb than any Panamanian could ever be.

Now I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I believe I am not the most stupid. Maybe you would not agree. You are free to answer my Blog if you do OR do not agree.

I am still sitting in my car here in Arrejan, Panama,

nicola michael c. Tauraso, M.D.

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